Here at Newton's Kumquat, we work tirelessly to bring you the latest and greatest advances in journalism. That's why we're proud to tell you about the Ticked Off column in the Orlando Sentinel. Finally, a place in print for all those anonymous curmudgeons and complainers. (Alas, we couldn't find a web version.) Basically, readers are invited to leave a voicemails or e-mails, and then the complaints are transcribed and printed in the newspaper. Sample content:

I'm ticked off at a tow-truck driver who showed up to tow the car -- then said he didn't want to get his feet wet so he couldn't tow the car out of the puddle. This is after I waited for him for three hours. If he can't tow the car, he should get out of the business.

To the person who said that trailer park people actually have money: Why do you live in trailers and not in a house like the rest of us? It seems to me you're lying.

Since nobody else wants to say it, I guess it's got to be me. You know what really ticks me off? All these guys walking around with their pants almost to their kneecaps. Heck, I've even seen a few girls doing it. You know what? You look like clowns! And I thought bell-bottoms looked stupid in the '70s. Boy, was I wrong.

You get the idea. What makes these people think that a bunch of strangers are going to want to read their ranting and complaining on a daily basis? Hmm. Come to think of it, I guess it's sort of like blogging...